PB&J...TBA

Linsey bought me five new fish today. The three in the foreground are not the new ones. You're looking at Larry or Moe (don't know which is which, Curly died about six months ago) and Pete and Eddy. They are not camera shy like the newbies. The new clan consists of: Jose', Quervo, Molly, Polly (polly's a dude), and Sucker-fish Bill.

I think weiner dog is pissed.

I've always loved aquariums. They can be very calming. I think it is necessary to have calm in your life. It's necessary in mine anyway. Without calm I'd never listen to myself. I'd never really listen to the lyrics of a new (or old) song. I'd never relish the breeze through my hair. Mmmm relish. I'd never really see him. I'd have never realized how beautiful life can be. I'd never be able to shut them out.

A mosquito the size of a pterodactyl (um, this is what spell-check gave me - i was WAY off) left a bump the size of Texas on my forehead tonight.

F-ing skeeto's.

Countin' flowers on the wall...

If you had to guess what people were thinking...could you?

Would you be able to understand the rational?

Could you relate? Would you try?

I think it's better most times to not know what others are thinking.

Surprises would be blown.

Feelings would be hurt.

Secrets given up.

Not knowing is blissful, exciting, and a pain in the ass.

Not knowing is life.

You should see the other guy.

Let's play a game. The first person to guess what actually happened will win a prize. Feel free to comment and take a shot at it. It will be well worth your while, that is if you're the winner.

How exciting...

"Besides, we both know I'm training to become a cage fighter."

Who needs dudes when you have a mullett wig and two tire jacks? Roommate and I rotated her tires Friday. We probably wouldn't have been able to accomplish it if we didn't have "MULLETT POWER!" Anything is possible with mullett power. It was almost like Billy Ray was changing the tires. Now that's a whole lot of hillbilly.

I'm trying to think of some sort of interesting part of life to examine...but with this photo there is really nothing that will do. This is life at it's finest. Two chicks rotating tires like Billy Ray. I really don't think it gets much better than this...I really don't.

Happy Anniversary

Today my parents have been married for 33 years.

I've never seen them fight.

I can't imagine my life without them. Sure, I don't talk to them but about once a week...maybe. And sure, I only go home about once every 5 months. But just because communication is scarce, doesn't mean the feelings aren't there. I know I take them for granted. I just hope they know how proud of them I am for still being in love after all these years. I base what I think a marriage should be off of theirs.

I wanted to get you a cruise or something for your anniversary. Instead (since I'm poor) I'll post what turns out to be one of my favorite photo's of you. Mom's in there too. She's just covered up by captain scotch. A Merry Christmas indeed.

Obviously, they've done a great job raising their children.

Bare essentials.

Interesting fact:

One out of every 6 children in Ireland are conceived on behalf of Guiness. The lady at the checkout stand at Wal-Mart told me that today. Good to know.

I always put of going to Wal-Mart as long as I can because whenever I go there I waste money on crap I don't need. As you can see, tonight was a little different. Guiness - essential for unwinding on the sofa. Ragu - a staple of any sensible persons diet. Tooth brush holder - sure, why not. So two squeaky carts and and hour later I leave with my beer and spaghetti sauce. I should be good for another month.

Uh-oh.

I'm finding that I'm running out of photo's that I feel good about putting up. I've had some new shots, but have also been digging into my old files. After looking for an image tonight I am feeling the urge to take Betty out for some walks and get some new stuff. Thank god you can never go wrong with a lightning shot.

I was on my parent's deck back home. I love thunderstorms back home...they aren't skewed by the tight quarters of a town. They're more real to me. That tree has been there since before we moved there. I was in second grade I think. Mom would get so mad because we kept tying up tire swings to it. Well, actually it was just innertubes...we didn't have the actuall tire. There was a little clearing where no grass would grow because we would just sit on the swing and spin for hours. The tree isn't looking as good as it used to. Sadly enough time keeps moving on and my memories keep becoming more vague. I hope I never forget the evening after a storm when we were outside playing in the tree. There was a huge rainbow to the west and dad had our new video camera out for the first time. I called him "shit for brains". And Larry said, "Lynnett just bought bed time for that one." We actually have it on tape somewhere. He never did make me go to bed early that night...

Just a peek.

This is a little section of the lab where I work. I spend all day in a room with no windows. I thought about doctoring the photo to make it look all pretty and appealing, but I don't think that can be done. There's no time for pretty at work!!! STAT!

So to any who wonder why I need outside "stimulation" so badly...this ought to clear that right up. It's because of this room I crave the Cresent Moon, walks, frisbee, music, photography, reading, and anything that requires a little imagination.

Don't get me wrong...it's not a bad job. It just doesn't entail a lot of creativity. I do have to say, science is hard, but I make it look easy.

(i'm rolling my eyes and shaking my head)

What a day...

Meet for lunch - check

Go suit shopping - check

Buy a $28 bra - check

Clean my room - check

Pour psuedo-martini all over my face - check

Today was a good day.

A Place Aside

There's a place on the bike trail that has lilac bushes to one side of it. I usually forget about it until the smell is suddenly upon me. I love it. I always take a deep breath in and let it soak through me. It is such a great spot because on the one side, you have the lilac's and on the other side there's the rottweiler who never makes even a peep. He is always just hanging out, taking it all in. He didn't even bark at the little dog that came up to say hello yesterday. It made me smile. I thought for sure the little dog would be eaten. I thought wrong. Something about the contrast of the two makes sense.
I'm a little sad the bushes won't be blooming much longer. It is my favorite spot on the trail.

(The night I took this photo my camera broke and I had to send it away. It was my first summer in Lincoln. You know, the one where I lived in a trailer. Hey-ay!)

How old?

Holy crap there are a lot of birthday's and things in May.

Today is Lori's birthday. I would tell you how old she is, but a woman doesn't like her age to be known. She's 32. Ha! That's for all of childhood beatings you gave me. Maybe you should have been a kinder sister to your two younger siblings. Then when we finally revolted, it may not have been so harsh. Anyway, here is the breakdown on my old (hee hee) sister.

Lori enjoys:
Nascar (she has a nascar tatoo), scrapbooking (doesn't seem to fit with nascar does it?), her two beautiful daughters, her husband (how's that working out for you by the way?), shopping, church, pampered chef, oysters and sardines and things like that, buying me presents (wait...what?), flinging french toast (YEAH TOAST!), her new house, singing in the car, trying to get me to "stamp it up!" (never gonna happen).

Lori does NOT enjoy:
work, siblings who fight back, my music, allergies, her husband (just kidding), my dog (see allergies), time away from her two beautiful daughters, bills, and me being in her birthday picture. Ha!

Son of a.....

I've done a horrible thing. I've killed Fluffy. Sarah, I'm sorry.

Sarah and I bought Fluffy in 1998. He was our first house plant. After Lane moved in and Lynnett had to leave so they wouldn't get evicted, but Lynnett ended up moving to Casper f-ing Wyoming with some psycho who...wait, what? Sorry, got off track. Anyway, when I moved out I was entrusted with the Fluffster. Sunday night I was watering my plants and stumbled upon this gruesome sight. The little boxer-guy had finally won the battle. We got the little boxer guys in 1998 also. We were leaving Wal-Mart and had some extra quarters (we've all been there), and were sucked in by the quarter machines. This little guy has been living in the same flower pot as Fluffy for nine years. I think that Fluffy just got old. I tend to have a really green thumb. My bedroom looks litke a little mini-jungle. But now...the jungle is one less.

So Fluff, this one is for you.

We brought you home from the check-out stand.

Groceries on one side, you in the other hand.

We watered and loved you and gave you good care.

And you kept living and even bloomed one year.

I hope cactus heaven is lovely and fine.

Because you've poked my finger for the last f-ing time.

Fluffy 1998 - 2007

What the?

This is Larry. His birthday was yesterday. Happy birthday Lar. This is the dude my mom married all those years ago. Oh yeah, he is also my dad. That's what they tell me anyway. No...he is. The proof: I like scotch too. That settles it. Since last night you got the rundown on Linda, tonight...it is the rundown on Larry.

Larry enjoys:

scotch, grilling, his youngest child, his two grandchildren (still not from me), his adorable grandpuppy (again, mine), scotch, fishing, camping, Lonnie's discount, the hot tub, shooting trap, scotch, and not "knowing anything new".

Larry does NOT enjoy:

me wasting his scotch, draught, bills, fixing tractors (aparently that's how he spent his birthday), christmas (personally, i think it's just an act), fights, jerks, running out of scotch, and shopping with mom (this one i don't know for sure, i'm just guessing because he's a dude).

Happy Birthday Dad.

Mega what?

Here's to you mom. Hope you had a great day. I'm sure you didn't because you were stuck at work, as was I. That's too bad, from what I gather it was a lovely day.

For those who don't know Linda (mom), she is a-okay. She has three lovely children (especially the youngest). She has two lovely grandchildren (none of them mine thank god). She has an amazing grandpuppy (that one is mine...thank god). She married some dude and is still with him after what...32 years now?

Linda enjoys:

scrapbooking, Nascar, her new hot tub and patio, her youngest child, red beer, thunderstorms, camping, (but not thunderstorms and camping at the same time), reading romance novels, shopping, and her youngest child (did I say that already?)

Linda does NOT enjoy:

me complaining about scrapbooking, work, her other two children (ha ha!!!! take that you fools!), bills, scotch, draught, snakes and spiders, deer meat (gag), and pictures of herself (you're so pretty, even I don't understand that one).

Cheers to Linda! Happy Mother's Day. Well crap, it's belated now.

Mid-Air Weenie!

This isn't trick photography people, this is real. Boone is the grounded weenie. Pearl is airborne. Who said I couldn't teach my dog to fly? I weenie-sit (hee hee) Boone about once a month while his mommy goes out of town. I think Pearl really enjoys having him around. She is quite the tease when he is here. He actually had just asked her out on a date and she was like, "No way dude...I'm out of here!" swoosh.....

Does this photo remind anyone else of the movie Strange Brew? Take off eh.

Trailer park tipsies...

Two years later:

The place I live now isn't on wheels, that wine glass broke when my wine shelf fell off the wall, and my thumb ring up and broke one day...it is somewhere in mom and dad's yard.

Time machine:

"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads."

The last five years or so, I've only seen Chris about once a year. Tonight was the second time I've seen him this year. Yeah us! I met Chris at my first college job. HASTINGS! You're Entertainment Superstore...YES! (ho ho-doing the hand to nose french thingy)

Um, that will be nine years ago now. Holy crap. That was a low-paying, tedious little job...but it introduced me to a handful of people I love. (cheesy, but its got to be done) It was the best summer of my life thus far...hands down. That was the summer of: T-shirt information, the "who would you rather do" game, frappiccuno, star-gazing, N64, frisbee in the dark, the bridges (sigh...i love the bridges), Hitler posters, Bwuce Wilwus, wrestling pay-per-views, and Kevin Baily and his water socks. HBK. That's my summer and no one can ever take it away from me.

I am very happy tonight, but I'm also a little sad. I'm dis-enchanted (i think i have a talent for making up words) with some things. I feel at fault, and that sucks. This is the firth time in a long time I've been thad. (still funny...Hey-ay!)

Damn.

If you had a flux capacitor...would you go back?

(nope)

I used to date this broad...

"There is no man more boring than a man with a career."

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

(may not be quoted exactly right-but close enough)

This is Jim. We just got done putting a presentation together on Serology/Virology tests (yes, it does drive one to drinking). We went to O'Rourkes to have a drink after. Jim picked the seat, I picked the drink. A pitcher of Old Style of course. The first glass, as always, in dedication to Lane. (Hey-ay!)

Jim is a good friend. We just got done spending 8 hours a day together for five weeks at Creighton. We sat at a bench and tried to identify bacteria and didn't kill each other in the process. I like Jim because while at times he is so straight-laced, he can come out of left field and knock your socks off with an unexpected story...and stories he has. He has some nice quotes too. Jimmy-isms. When we hit the pubs in the Old Market, everytime he started a story with, "I used to date this girl", I would drink. Tonight...no different. I also love that he calls girls "broads". It always makes me smile. I should probably be offended but I'm not. I love the word. Hopefully someday he'll be sitting with someone else and say, "There was this broad I used to go to school with...and she was okay."

Drink

joyful girl

"And everything I do is judged, and they mostly get it wrong, but oh well. The bathroom mirror has not budged. The woman who lives there can tell, the truth from the stuff they say. She looks me in the eyes says, 'Would you prefer the easy way? No well okay then...don't cry.'"

On a side note, if anyone has any idea how I may have re-chipped my tooth...again, please let me know. I swear it was there yesterday, but then I looked in the mirror this morning and part of the damn thing is missing...again. This is getting ridiculous...no?

1984 raining down on me.

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

Try keeping my weenie out...bee-atch!

(that's what she said...wait, that would be what he said, right?)

That's all.

Ugh...new job.

I started a new job today. I was short on sleep, long on hangover...but there I was. Same place, just a promotion. An 11 hour day is a long training day. I'm tired and I wanna go to sleep. My weiner dog (i think i spell weiner wrong...eh...) is under my shirt, roommate is painting her nails, the breeze is filling the room...it is quite a cozy little night.

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

I'm also watching Spiderman II because roommate has never seen it and she is priming for the 3rd. I don't like Kirsten Dunst (i'm not alone here am i...Amanda). Her teeth drive me crazy and she can't act. (not even a little) Uh oh...spidey just ran out of web. I think his bitch of a snaggle-tooth girlfriend has something to do with it. Damn women. FIX YOUR TEETH!

I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

Peace

Hernandez, meet Paul.

Tonight, another quick Tyku.

Piano? Still drinking.

Back pack still dripping.

Po po still peering.

Me?

Still shivering.

amen

(i think i just fell asleep)

can't stop shaking...

How many syllables?

Half full? Half empty? Tonight...I'll go with full.

Apparently I can only write on this blog thingy when I'm lying in bed with the lights off. I'm not trying to be kinky...I'm just saying. I will sit up with the lights on and nothing comes to me, but the minute I turn off my light and lie down stuff just pops into my head. I kinda feel like Pavlov's dog. Except it's not a bell, but the light switching off.

So tonight I was being schooled (that doesn't look right does it? is "schooled" a real word?) In the ways of creating a Haiku. When looking it up to make sure I understood I found a Haiku to be: a city on N Hainan island, in SE China. Then, I realized that I had been spelling it wrong, so I tried again and found it is: a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons. Hmmm...interesting. I think I can see the grandeur and artistic-ness (again..really don't think that's a word. I'm just making words up) of the Haiku. It can have a certain...

AH HELL! I JUST ACCIDENTIALLY ERASED HALF OF WHAT WAS WRITTEN AND NOW I HAVE TO TRY TO REMEMBER WHAT I HAD WRITTEN!!! AAHHH!

...it can have a certain mystic and beauty about it. But I have to say, I don't think that I'll ever be albe to do it because I have to use my fingers to count out how many syllables I'm using. Between all of the finger-fumbling and my eyes looking up and sideways because I'm trying to think, I'd probably fall off my chair. That's not very creative. So to those who can just spit out a haiku without having to use their fingers, my hat's off to you. I'm sure it is a skill I'll never acquire. So for now, I'll stick with a Tyku. I'll leave you with one. I hope this is right.

Something about a semi-truck and a stop sign

Duck runs with a bleeding leg

tequila

booze

booze

stop sign thing again

quarter

scotch in the shower

firth time for everything

Hey-ay

Knock, knock....lab.

Word on the street is that today is going to be my last phlebotomy shift. Huge sigh of relief. I've been being hated by almost all patients for the last three years, and that is too long. No one is ever happy to see you, because no one likes having their blood drawn. It really does start to wear on you after a while. I'm very much excited to not have any patient interaction any more. Don't get me wrong, there are some people I've met over the years who have just brightened my day. Amazing, I think. I will miss folks like that. It is the idiots who are mean that I will not miss. It is funny, because common conversation among phlebo's is how some patients are automatically mean to us when we come in, because don't they realize that we have a needle, and are about to draw their blood? I would think someone would want to be nice to a person who is about ready to stick a needle in them. Who knows...

So tonight I will clean out my little tray and take my little dangling eyeballs off of it. I am trying to figure out who to pass them on to, they are kinda well-known around the hospital. Plus, I have two lucky pennies in my tray too. They've been with me at least two and a half of the last three phlebotomizing years. Who shall I pass those on to? Ugh, choices. As much as I hate to admitt it, tonight may be a little bittersweet. Now I'm going to have to be one of those "professionals". Yikes!

"Okee dokee, here's a pokey."

Puppet Master

I SAID NO SOLICITING!!

I was sitting at the coffee shop and there was a person there who was not helping out a friend. She was saying how good the friend had been to her, but that she didn't think this person was quite good enough to play in front of people for an hour. Of course, the "friend" wasn't there to hear this. She kept saying how bad she felt for saying these things. Well then you know what...don't f-ing say them. I have yet to play in front of any strangers, and hardly any friends because I'm a little shy (I'm a lot shy). But when I hear people talk like this it makes me not want to play at all. People have to learn some time. Hearing her talk ruined my night. That's too bad because there had been some really good music. Well you know what lady...I don't like your music. It doesn't seem to original to me. It doesn't make me think. Do I tell people you shouldn't play? Do I talk about you behind your back (wait, what?). Whatever, it just pissed me off. Do unto others lady...

KARMA.

I figured I could put this photo up because I know the family won't be offended if I use photo's of them for my angry posts. I'd hate to offend anyone by putting a photo of them up with a post that contains an "F-bomb". Speaking of bomb...look at all the guns in this photo. NO SOLICITING!!! Kidding...this was Thanksgiving and it was a lot of fun. This doesn't seem like a real thankful post does it? Screw it. A big hello to the family. Hey family. Look at Larry watching over his little clan...so cute.

heads or tails?

Amen.

Tonight, the courtyard was lovely. The fountain is in full swing and it makes for a nice accent. I was going to toss a penny in the fountain, but it fell on the ground and I didn't feel like bending over tonight (it's Wednesday), so I left it on the ground. Maybe now someone else can turn it into their wish. There, I've done a good deed for the day...I gave a wish away. Ah-thank-you! Charity is easy...

I wonder if a little of what I would have wished for will be stuck on that penny? Then whoever picks it up and tosses it in the fountain will have a little of my wish interfere with theirs. So if I would have wished for say...my best friend to find a wonderful job that doesn't steal her away from her family, and the actual "tosser" wished for a new relationship to blossom, would my friend end up with a job as a matchmaker? I'm perplexed...and really f-ing tired.

I was trying to think of a way to tie this photo into a story about wishes...but I don't think there is one. This is my niece at her first communion. Should First Communion be capitalized? Jesus, I don't know (slapping my knee). Anyway, I just love this photo. I imagine that Taya was wishing she could be out of her dress and eating cake already (mmm....cake). Did we even have cake that day? Christ, I don't remember (ha! again with the knee).

A penny on the ground I neglected to toss

Equals a wish in my hand that is now lost.

Don't Hassle the Hoff

Um, I woke up to this photo on my bathroom mirror last week. Talk about "Hoff-induced" morning sickness. David Hasslehoff in a speedo with a leather jacket and a smile is not the first thing I like to see in the morning. Actually, morning or not...I don't like to see that at all!

Well, this morning I woke up to a May basket on the table with a picture of "The Hoff" on it. He was literally covering up his "junk" with two puppies. (gag) I think roommate is trying to get me to move out. I'm sure there are easier ways to get me out, roommate...this is just cruel. I don't like mornings anyway, but to have them flooded with Hoff sightings is a little more than I can handle.


So to any who hate mornings, and think they have it rough...just think of me and what I've been through getting "Hoffed" in the morning, and your morning won't seem so bad. It could be worse, you could be greated with glistening chest hair and pleather.